Moral Issue

[incka]

I'm not sure if I've posted in the forum at all, and it doesn't seem to get many topics, so I thought I'd make a moral issue for us all to debate.

Imagine the following situation:

You fancy someone who already has a partner that they are in a strong relationship with. You have no bad thought about their partner, but consider yourself superior in some ways. What should you do?

[Rain]

Make your feelings known, then let the person decide.

I wouldn't actively try to break them up, but if the person decides that on their own, then it's his/her decision, right?

[eflo]

Interesting subject.

Like rain said, I would probably make my feelings known, but I don't think I would be open in the sense of verbally telling that person how I feel about them.

I guess it gets kind of confusing because I don't know if I'm friends with the other partner. I'm not going to try to break up my friend's relationship. Nor do I think it would be a good idea for me to be looking at my friend's partner. But I've never been in such a situation, so I don't really know.

[follow_me_around]

I'm not sure if I've posted in the forum at all, and it doesn't seem to get many topics, so I thought I'd make a moral issue for us all to debate.

Imagine the following situation:

You fancy someone who already has a partner that they are in a strong relationship with. You have no bad thought about their partner, but consider yourself superior in some ways. What should you do?


I consider people who have affair are among the lowet type of people. So under any circumstance, I don't approve and will never got into affair with someone who is already committed.

Cheers

[OBLh]

I consider people who have affair are among the lowet type of people. So under any circumstance, I don't approve and will never got into affair with someone who is already committed.

^ said by either a virgin or someone who has never loved another...

You only have one life, so if you think it's important to you - DO IT! Don't wait a single second, no matter what you hear from Xians and other followers in ignorance.

[capricorngurl]

I consider people who have affair are among the lowet type of people. So under any circumstance, I don't approve and will never got into affair with someone who is already committed.

Cheers

I agree completely.


^ said by either a virgin or someone who has never loved another...

You only have one life, so if you think it's important to you - DO IT! Don't wait a single second, no matter what you hear from Xians and other followers in ignorance.

I disagree, somewhat, I mean I understand what you're saying, but still, think of how your making that person's partner feel.

[oceanflower]

My question is, "Are they married?" And does that make a difference? I think that if the couple is married or in a relationship in which they've committed themselves to a life together, then I would not interfere with that, no matter how I felt. On the other hand, if the couple is in a relationship wherein they have not seriously committed themselves to each other, then I'd subtly make my feelings known.

[follow_me_around]

^ said by either a virgin or someone who has never loved another...

You only have one life, so if you think it's important to you - DO IT! Don't wait a single second, no matter what you hear from Xians and other followers in ignorance.


I guess the words "loyalty and honesty" don't apply for a person like you. But it's hard to see the point when you don't have a broken family.


Cheers

[DARKanima]

what would curious george do?

[follow_me_around]

Why should I care with what curios George would do?


Cheers

[oceanflower]

what would curious george do?
:confused:

[DARKanima]

go to the zoo! but honestly i think that one should do something alone and think about it, that's what i would do, i think better when doing something at the same time, but i would come to the conclusion that the person is obviously serious about their relationship but depending on how strong the relationship and the type one should tell them about their feelings (in a way that wouldn't make the person feel awkward), unless of course the previous two throw up a flag.

[Sisyphis]

I guess that the interesting part of this question is the supposition that you feel superior to the parter in some way... I wonder what you mean.

[blp]

I guess that the interesting part of this question is the supposition that you feel superior to the parter in some way... I wonder what you mean.

Exactly. This isn't just a question about breaking up a relationship because you feel a strong attraction to one of the people in it. People go for different types, so your superiority or lack of it is surely only going to be a matter of opinion. If you think you're superior to your rival, it hardly matters unless the object of your affection agrees. But it depends on his/her desire anyway whether your superiority is even an advantage. S/he might quite deliberately choose the person they feel to be inferior.

But yes, I'm curious to know what you meant by superior too.

[Scheherazade]

I would not consider approaching someone who is already in a relationship. I find this very interesting that people think it is OK.

I would also would like to hear what you mean by 'superior' too... When we commit ourselves, we don't do it till someone better comes along but because we care and love that person. And loving someone means accepting them as they are... I think it was Faulker who said '...you dont love because: you love despite; not for the virtues, but despite the faults.' So your idea of being superior would probably mean nothing to do the person you like.

[blp]

I would not consider approaching someone who is already in a relationship. I find this very interesting that people think it is OK.


It is OK, sometimes. Some relationships are very bad or nearly over. You never know for sure until you ask.

[Scheherazade]

if a relationship is not satisfying someone, they would get out of it? normally.

Thinking about the 'being superior' concept still... Was wondering if I would like to be with someone who would leave their present partner because I am 'superior'... How do I know that they won't do the same to me when someone 'better' comes along?

[musi]

Thinking about the 'being superior' concept still... Was wondering if I would like to be with someone who would leave their present partner because I am 'superior'... How do I know that they won't do the same to me when someone 'better' comes along?

agree. it is not about superior qualities, perhaps there is just something you like in a person, that makes you feel good with him, not just superior qualities.

as for the moral issue itself, i know a boy, who fell in love with a girl, who was already in a relationship, that was supposed to last forever. then, the things turned the other way, so the girl broke up with her boyfriend and in some time this friend of mine got the girl. i think he is happy now.. hopefully :)

in Love In The Time Of Cholera Florentino Arisa had been waiting for Fermina for 53 years, 7 months and 11 days. he got her.

take Charles and Camilla. not a perfect example, but there it is..

as for me, i do not know, what i would do. it is great strenth to love somebody just as he is, to love the Universe just because this person is there, and not only because this person loves you back. "who can refrain, that has a heart to love, and in that heart courage to make love known".
i guess in the end, i would show my feelings, but not push the person to a dicision, it does not seem really fair, if he is in a happy realtionship..

[AnnaKonda]

I consider people who have affair are among the lowet type of people. So under any circumstance, I don't approve and will never got into affair with someone who is already committed.

Cheers

I am quite sure you are surrounded by many, many of such people without knowing it. They are probably not worse than you or me. I think you are a bit too judgemental. It always takes two to tango -- both ways. A relationship that is intact and satisfies the emotional, sexual, and social needs of the partners will not easily be broken into. While a unsatisfactory relationship invites intrusions by outsiders who promise to improve a persons well-being.
To say one would never do such a thing is a rash statement, in my opinion. No one knows in advance how a relationship will turn out to be.

[craig.melson]

dont do it......